Trilogy of Error: Lady's Day
by devilhunter123
Summary: The final part of the trilogy of error. and if you don't like it T.S.


**Lady's Day**

_With one hell of a hangover and Dante having a heart attack next to the fridge and a Demon killing call. She knows its going to be a crap day._

_Well what you expect?_

Lady opened her eyes. Her head felt as though someone rammed her head off the floor (not like it never happened or anything!) she got up and moved in an awkward way to avoid her head hurting, she looked like a crab in a way when she got into the kitchen the only thing in there was pizza and eggs. So scrambled eggs it was. After making her breakfast, she opened the front door and there was Dante lying on his back on the steps twitching with a note saying: 'Dante Sparda you have to be in court next Tuesday and are charged with indecent exposure and shoplifting!'" (This is coming up a lot isn't it?) Since she couldn't care, she picked up the paper and closed the door.

Rather enjoying the silence, Lady took time to notice the rather strange things around the office: the pyramid of beer cans, the Eiffel tower of beer bottles and for some reason: Dante's underwear was lying on the coat hook along with Vergil's underwear. Upon seeing this Lady shuddered uncontrollably she heard Vergil shouting something about an alarm clock and a moment later he staggered in "You feel like shit too huh?" she mumbled. Vergil grunted in the affirmative. "Still, its better than Dante," She said taking a gulp of orange juice

"Where is Dante anyway" inquired Vergil "There's still pizza in the fridge."

"Oh yeah, he was arrested for shoplifting man bras… again. The door was locked so they put him on the door step he had a note on his coat saying: 'Dante Sparda you have to be in court next Tuesday and are charged with indecent exposure and shoplifting!'" Lady watched Vergil walk over to the door it seemed as though Vergil couldn't care anymore about Dante than she could.

After Lady had finished her breakfast she decided to make some coffee. After she sat down with it she noticed Dante's mutterings were getting louder. Knowing what was coming ahead she put her fingers in her ears "NO MORE PIZZA!" Dante's voice was better than any megaphone

"Well _he's_ awake." Said Vergil

"Mm-Hmm" said lady who took her fingers out of her ears. She now noticed Dante running back and forth outside Devil may cry, by the time she looked back at Vergil who was about to leave "Well, I'm off." Said Vergil

"You may want to stand away from the door for about four seconds." Said lady, watching Dante running back and forth outside and four seconds later Dante burst down the door and sprinted to the fridge. Lady watched him rummage until he found a pizza box and opened it. The box was empty "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!" Dante screamed and then he fell face first onto the floor and started twitching. Lady knew what this meant; he was having his heart attack. Lady sighed she walked over to the closet and pulled out the defibbulators machine she put the setting up to a thousand volts (Dante strength) and zapped him three times on the third time however he farted. It was terrible. Lady was gagging and for revenge she zapped him again but instead caused an explosion but luckily lady was blown away out of the danger. With his healing power however Dante was fine, much to Lady's despair. She decided she'd better call John and Gary.

After John and Gary picked Dante up and took him to the hospital. Lady looked at the 'To do' list and a demon killing was scheduled in half an hour so lady decided to get ready she went into her room and pulled out an attaché case and it was loaded with weapons she pulled out the essentials: Kalina Ann, a 45. , an SMG, a few dozen hand grenades and a machine pistol. When she was ready she made a pose and said "Let's go!" (Corny alert, repeat corny alert.) When she got to the front door the phone rang she picked it up:

"Hello, Devil may cry." She said

"Hello," said the voice "I'm calling to cancel my appointment for the demon killing, I found the guy who was the priest in 'the exorcist' he did the job for free."

"Okay then. " Said lady disappointed she got out her attaché for nothing. Now she was pissed.

The phone began ringing again Lady answered it already knowing who it would be: "Lady!" it was Dante by the sound of it he was moving " I need your help, can you pick me up on your bike I need to get to the courts in twenty minutes!"

"What's in it for me?" Lady asked "You totaled my last bike!"

"I don't know I'll fix it just pick me up, please!"

"Oh fine, where are you and what bike will I bring? The Harley or the Daytona?"

"I'm at Mallet Way and bring the Daytona I'm in a hurry!"

Lady waited outside while Dante went into court. He came out 5 minutes later looking like he had a pizza stolen from him (which usually meant sudden death for the person who stole it.) Dante was muttering to himself "damn that judge I got pictures of him... and one of his ass! Oh Pizza!" he said as Lady thrusted a pizza into his hands to shut him up "By the way I'm going to the hospital. Vergil was fighting with the granny… again. You're going there anyway right?" asked Lady. Dante nodded. And off they went.

When they arrived, They were told Vergil was in ward 252 so they went off to Vergil's ward. They found him stirring Dante went to Lady "Watch this." And he went right over to Vergil's face. Vergil opened his eyes to see Dante's and he screamed like a little girl and Dante broke into a fit of giggles. Lady kicked Dante right in the nuts and Dante collapsed with pain, Lady and Vergil broke into fits of giggles.


End file.
